When I started out in BDSM I thought submission was the ability to turn your body and being over to another for use, like in a scene. I loved scening. I loved feeling myself surrender, how that surrender radiated through my body and emotions. I wanted more.
So I scened for a long time. I discovered scening made me open and vulnerable to the Dom. Depending on the Dom, I would bond to a certain degree, most of the time as a friend.
I began to wonder about ultimate submission. What is it? What would it feel like to surrender completely? What did I need to create an amosphere for it to happen? Was ultimate surrender only available if I were a 'slave' as some people claimed? Was ultimate submission about doing ANYTHING my Dom wanted, regardless of soft or hard limits?
I remember a moment with my Master where he guided me into an area that I have a soft / hard limit on. He made it real. I felt complete surrender / submission to him in that moment. Was ultimate surrender a place with no limits, only my Dom's wishes? For a moment, this felt true. It takes a serious commitment, abandoning hard limits for my Dom; it is a form of ultimate surrender.
Maybe. I know some would consider this to be an abusive exchange, particularly if I was a slave and not just a submissive. It is vital, then, to find a Dom whose traits and beliefs are a close match to my own; then there is a good chance that the relationship will never become abusive.
Limits are not the only things that can be surrendered though. There is one area where we all can surrender, whether we are vanilla or into BDSM. It is a little thing called intimacy. The ability to open ourselves up and surrender to the love coming in from our partner and our love flowing out in return. Oddly enough, this can be much harder than submitting to the cane or the whip.
I know that I fear love as much as I crave it. However, when I am open to my Master, with no emotional or mental barriers between us, I feel our love more keenly. It is a surrender of self, not just of the body, mind or feelings. It is terrifying. It is glorious. The connection between us becomes stronger than anything I've ever known or felt before.
This is the biggest 'hard limit' I have; yielding it is the ultimate surrender for me.
By WindDom's blessing.
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